U - TURN

During the lockdown, I had almost forgotten that my bike servicing was due. Today, early morning, I went to the service station and gave my bike. On my way back home, I had to book an OLA cab. 

As a habit, I sat next to the driver, and to my surprise, he was Sandesh Waghmare, a college friend. We both were happy to see each other after 15 years. After conversing about family and old friends and after avoiding Modi Vs Rahul debate, when he came to know about me (that I am the Principal of a school), I could see his eyes sparkle with delight, but he could not control the words that came out of his mouth, "You are doing extremely well, and I am in this mess. Fate. Nothing more."

Sandesh was a left-handed batsman in our college and was very famous for his winning sixes. I was never successful in taking his wicket during practice sessions. While chatting over a tea, Sandesh would hold the cigarette in the corner of his lips and would imitate Ajay Devgan's Malik from the movie Company, and would say, "This cricket is just for fun. I want to be a PSI. Police Sub Inspector." We had seen him working hard for his dream. He was the first one to come to the college ground. Till the time we arrived, he would bathe in sweat. Even after exercising for almost one and a half hour, he would be left with enough energy to hit the balls out of boundaries. Long jump, volleyball, kabaddi, kho-kho and whatnot, he participated and was excellent in all the sports. 

During exam times, he would bribe me for Kheema Paav, and while sitting in the canteen, I would help him learn English and Mathematics. He would say, "I would pass the Physical test for PSI very easily, but Amit, only you can help me pass the written test. You are very good at Maths." Laughingly, I would say, "You can't do it. You are good for nothing." 

All these memories flashed like a bullet train in front of my eyes. 

He might have realized that I would ask him about his dream of becoming a PSI and mock him, so he said, "You know I wanted to be a PSI. In 2006, riots broke in Maharashtra due to Khairlanji massacre - the massacre that witnessed the atrocity against Dalits and the deaths of four. They have been doing this to us since ages. They couldn't see that our people are getting education and are becoming officers. They burnt the entire family alive. That time, in Uttar Pradesh, Babasaheb's statue was vandalized. This very news was enough for me to come on the streets asking for justice. We gathered at the Collector's Office near Pune Station. We were shouting slogans with our blue flags in hands. Things turned worst and we got arrested - arrested for protesting, arrested for asking for the justice. I was in custody for two days. My bail was granted."

"For the next two years, I worked hard for the PSI exam, attended the classes as well. I was an inch closer to my dream, but when I was asked to submit a character certificate and police verification certificate, I was proven as the defaulter. My application to appear for the exam was rejected; not once but for forever."

He paused for a while. I could listen to him sniffing a tear. How it feels to see your dreams getting destroyed, I experienced its horror's into that 30  seconds silence in the cab. 

After dropping me at my society's gate, I asked him to come for a tea, but he refused by saying, "Next time." I saw his cab disappearing behind the society walls. 

I still could feel the silence. To gather myself up, I sat on the garden bench, and I remembered. 

"December 2006. I too was angry when I heard about the Khairlanji Massacre and the news of Babasaheb's statue vandalized in Uttar Pradesh. I too left my house in anger, took my bike, and went to join the protest. I too felt like burning the entire city down with the same fire that was burning inside me, making me more explosive with each passing moment. Suddenly I realized that I had to submit my B.Ed. practicals and I was left with hardly any time. The books borrowed from the library were due the next day. I took a u-turn, and came home to study."

When I sit in my armchair and think about this event, I ask myself a question, "Who was right? Sandesh or me?" I think we both were right. 

But who was wrong then? I would say, "System - the same system that promotes such incidents like Khairlanji and vandalizing of Babasaheb's statue. The same system that makes sure that we, the people of marginalized sections of the society come on the roads for our rights. The same system that then arrests us and put us behind bars. The same system that has crushed thousands of dreams, thousands of Sandeshs' careers. 

Sandesh was a driver now, and not a PSI, but now, there is less sympathy and more respect for him. 

Author - Amit Kharat